Monday, March 16, 2009

A little perspective...


A little more than 2 years ago I experienced a miscarriage, similar to the one we are going thru right now. I was a mess, I could not understand why God made this suffering happen to me. I was heartbroken and devastated. I was angry, that young girls not even trying to get pregnant, can have a baby, and then not care for it at all. I was pissed off that drug addicts could "pop" out a baby and again not give a wink to how lucky they were. Things are different for me today.


We had surgery last night after being sent to the ER by my doctor, my surgery was originally set for tomorrow morning, but with my symptoms changing and the pain I was in, my doc wanted to get this done now. I was in surgery last night by 6:30 and home by 10pm. My awesome Sister-in-Law, Kristin came over and stayed with my two completely amazing babies.


I am still sore and out of today a bit, but all in all I am doing pretty well. I realize that if we had not lost the twins I was pregnant with between Luke and Emily, that I would not be blessed with my amazing, beautiful, and incredible daughter Emily. I also see, that Luke is such an amazing big brother to her, and we were given about another year of his growth and maturing before having him take on that new role. I know that Our Father in heaven knew this is how my life at the time would turn out. I was blind to it, but our Lord knew what He was doing, He knows my life and knows the plans He has laid out for me. I am learning to grow and trust in Him more.


I also know that I was able to have a healthy, beautiful baby girl after my last miscarriage and that if I have done it once, I know I can do it again! I am excited to start healing and to enjoy this Spring season with my two amazing children that I love so very much. I know that one day Mick and I will try again to give them another little sibling. I pray that this time, everything goes smoothly and we do not suffer another loss. But I also know, that as much as I hope, and pray and wish for that, there is no promise. Only Our Father sees what is in my future, and I trust Him.







4 comments:

Unknown said...

Jessica we are so sorry to hear the news. Let us know if there is anything we can do for you guys.

Kate Geesaman said...

Amen, sister! It's hard to praise him in these tough times, but our Lord has us in His hands.

Anonymous said...

Good for you Jess ~ very well said!
We Love you!!

Marci said...

Hope you're feeling better! Jami wants Emily to live with us--she said, "She's a real, live doll, mommy!" Too cute.